


Tell Me

by JenCollins



Series: 21st's SPN writing challenge [15]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Broken Dean Winchester, Homophobic John Winchester, Hurt/Comfort, John Winchester's A+ Parenting, Lemons, M/M, Mental Breakdown, Prompt writing, Smut, Some Fluff, am thoughts, good boyfriend Cas, writing challenge
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-16
Updated: 2021-01-16
Packaged: 2021-03-14 08:16:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,149
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28792305
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JenCollins/pseuds/JenCollins
Summary: Sometimes Dean’s mind takes him back to the things he have buried somewhere deep and makes him question his whole being.OrDean remembers his seventeenth birthday where he needed to burn ghosts of two nuns who were in love and have a breakdown but Cas is there to take care of him.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Series: 21st's SPN writing challenge [15]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2092269
Comments: 2
Kudos: 31





	Tell Me

**Author's Note:**

> yesterday's story is finally up!
> 
> Sorry that I couldn't upload it last night but this ones longer!
> 
> Enjoy!

**Tell Me.**

Dean was lying awake in the middle of night, or did it already count as an early morning?

He lay there with a man fast asleep next to him.

They made love just a couple hours ago, everything was good, they fell asleep together but now for some unholy reason Dean was awake, staring up in the dark, his thoughts spiralling out of control.

He was thinking back to the days with John, how his father teached him, shaped him into a good hunter.

He was thinking back to his seventeenth birthday, his first solo hunt.

It was an easy salt and burn.

It should have been easy but the centre of that case was not, it was destroying.

They were ghosts of nuns who were in love.

Even without saying anything, John gave him a clear message, that this was wrong, that this was what happened to people who were out of norm.

While digging two graves and burning two bodies, Dean was learning that message loud and clear.

He stands there, watching in the flames, feeling a part of him tear apart, burn in unholy flames.

He wished that he could leave this cursed part of himself there, in the flames taking over these two graves.

He swore for himself that he will try and gosh, how did he try.

After a while John stopped giving him sideway looks, believing into the well built facade of Dean being a true lady’s man.

Dean hated it, but he only hated himself.

And now here he was, laying naked in the bed with another man naked just inches away from him.

He should feel dirty, he should be ashamed.

But all he felt was a terrible ache in his chest of his two sides battling once again.

The truth and the lies he built for John to be proud of him.

Was his father ever proud of him?

He would hate Dean right now, hate him with passion.

Spatting out how Dean deserves to go to hell.

Hell.

Did Dean go to hell partly because of this?

A choked sob broke free, he clenched his teeth to stop it but the man next to him started to stir anyway.

\- Dean? - Hoarse, sleep wrecked voice sounded somewhere near him before the head of the other man was tilted to try to look at Dean.

\- Did I go to Hell because of this? Did I go to Hell because of me liking boys even more than liking girls? Was I being dragged to Hell also because of this? Cas, please tell me. Tell me the truth. You must know the truth. You must know. - Dean was gasping for breath, his eyes burning with tears that tried to rush down his cheeks, he just needed to know the truth, he needed to know if John have been right, if Dean was cursed, he needed to know, he just needed to know it all, he needed to know.

\- Dean, Dean, please look at me. Dean! - Cas sat up, reaching over Dean to flip on the bedside light before slowly reaching down to grip Dean’s shoulder.

Dean’s chest was heaving, he tried to suck in a breath but just couldn’t, his thoughts were spiralling out of control, tears falling.

\- Dean! - Cas strong Angel voice ran through the room, making Dean’s eyes to finally snap up, to look at Cas and suck in a deep breath. - Good, breath. - 

Cas was gripping his shoulder really tightly, his hand fitting perfectly to the hand shaped scar that he left there years ago by rising Dean out of Hell.

Hell.

Dean wanted to scream, to tear something apart, himself most preferably.

But Cas was looking strictly at him, hair so messy that they were sticking up in every possible direction, he was gripping Dean’s shoulder, encoring him back down to the comfortable bed with a memory foam mattress.

After a couple minutes Dean’s breaths started to come out deeper, not so rushed, tears stopped and he finally could see Cas clearly and feel the touch fully.

Cas’ eyes searched his for a moment before he looked over his shoulder, reaching for a glass of water with his free hand, offering it to Dean.

Dean slowly pushed himself up, never losing Cas grounding touch to his shoulder, before gripping the glass tightly with shaking fingers and taking big gulps of water, closing his eyes in the process.

Cas helped him hold the glass steady, letting him drink it empty before setting it back down on his side of the bedside table.

\- Now listen to me. - Cas looked deeply into Dean’s eyes, cupping his cheek with his free hand. - You weren't dragged to Hell because of who you are, Dean. You made a deal and that was the price. No one have ever been dragged or sent to the Hell just because they were gay. Look, even Chuck himself said that he has slept with both, male and female just the same and he was God. - Cas was now running a hand over Dean’s hair and side of his face, letting Dean lean into his touch.

\- He made me think that it’s what we deserve… I wanted to burn that side, I wanted… - Dean closed his eyes.

\- Dean, you have had a hard past, but it’s not what defines you. You know that. And I love every single part of you, no matter how dark. I love you. - Cas squeezed Dean’s shoulder.

\- Fuck, I love you, Angel. - Dean breathed out before pulling Cas into a deep kiss. - I love you, I love you so damn much. - 

They fell back into pillows, Cas letting out a surprised squeak but melting into Dean’s kisses all the same.

Their kisses soon grew heated, Dean’s touches strong and needy while Cas’s was all soft and filled with love.

Cas fit in between Dean’s legs like they were made for each other, his moan matching Dean’s when their growing cock’s met.

Just a couple more kisses and they were thrusting against each other like that was all they could do, their kisses growing more heated.

Dean flipped them over with ease, fitting in between Cas legs like coming home, starting to kiss slowly Cas’ neck, earning such delicious little moans from Cas.

Cas cursed in Enochian, gripping Dean’s ass and slanting their hips together.

\- Will you fuck me? - He gasped out just right when Dean bit down on the soft spot on Cas neck, arching his back up from the bed, throwing his head back to give Dean even bigger access.

\- You want me that bad? - Dean couldn’t help but tease, all the thoughts about his previous breakdown gone, Cas has always been amazing at distracting Dean.

Cas gripped Dean by hair, making him look up to see a glare from Cas. That was all the answer Dean needed, with a soft laugh he leaned back down capturing Cas’ lips into a soft kiss before reaching over to get lube.

Cas, the fucking tease, didn’t waste any time to grip Dean’s dick into his fist and give it a couple pumps, letting his hot mouth trail over Dean’s chest, bitting softly down at the nipple, earning a growl from Dean.

\- Fucking tease. - Dean murmured, attacking Cas’ lips with his own, matching smirks playing over their lips.

\- You love it. - Cas hissed out when Dean’s fingers trailed down to cup his balls.

\- How could I not? - Dean started to kiss down Cas’ neck, just slowly rising to lube up his fingers.

Cas spread his legs a bit more, giving Dean full access.

\- I love you. - He murmured, pulling Dean back up into another kiss.

\- I love you. - Dean breathed out, softly sliding the tip of his finger into Cas, loving the gasp like moan that escaped Cas’s lips at that.

Their eyes met, sparks falling in between them.

Dean softly pushed his finger deeper inside, never leaving Cas’s eyes, loving to see how Cas’ lips fell open, his breath catching just for a second.

Dean wanted to kiss all over Cas’ body but more than that he wanted to watch his Angel slowly falling apart by love.

He starts to pump his finger, never leaving Cas’ eyes, smirk spreading over his lips as soon as Cas starts to curse in the enochian, trying to pull Dean even closer.

He could have never thought that an Angel could be so needy but he loved it, that was his Angel, his Cas, being needy for him.

Dean cursed himself before letting Cas pull him into another row of heated kisses, gripping Cas’ hip softly to stop their hips from snapping together. It just felt way too good and Dean wasn’t sure if he could hold off and not to come from just that.

One finger soon was joined by another one, stretching Cas open.

Cas bit down on Dean’s lower lip a bit too hard when Dean’s fingers pushed against his prostate, earning another half curse, half moan from Dean and even harder push against that delicious bundle of nerves.

Cas back arched up, his teeth locked over Dean’s lip, muffled curse in Enochian escaping.

Dean just couldn’t take it anymore, he pulled his fingers out.

Reaction was immediately, Cas let go off of Dean’s lips, his eyes snapping open and a low whine escaping his lips.

Dean couldn’t help the soft laugh bubbling in his chest.

He pushed himself up, sitting back on his heels, taking in the sight before him, soft, flushed Angel spreading out for him, his hands already reaching out for Dean, just simply needing to touch, to pull closer, his eyes so bright that for a moment Dean got lost into them.

Cas sat up suddenly, snapping Dean out of his moment, his eyes widening a bit by how close Cas now was to him, his eyes searching Dean’s with that deep soul seeing look.

Without a warning Cas wrapped a slicked hand around Dean’s dick, earning a sinful moan from Dean, his eyes widening.

It was Cas turn to smirk and damn, Angel’s shouldn’t be allowed to smirk, it was fucking with Dean’s head.

Cas kissed him softly, pumping Dean in his hand for a bit before falling back against the pillows, his legs spread and that damn smirk still playing on his lips.

Dean smirked before positioning himself against Cas’ stretched hole, gripping Cas’ hip with his other hand.

Cas smirk slipped, his eyes widening just a bit, making them even bluer if possible.

And then Dean was pushing in slowly, softly, leaning down to capture Cas’ lips into a soft kiss.

Cas wrapped his arms around Dean, holding him close, deepening the soft kiss to the maddening deep one, letting out small gasps every time Dean slid a bit deeper into him till finally he let out a loud curse, a mix of english and enochian.

Dean couldn’t help but chuckle at that, earning a half hearted pull at his hair, making Dean only laugh softly, bumping his nose against Cas’ cheek, earning a breathy laugh in return.

It was weird how sometimes their love making was filled with a lot of giggling and laughing but Dean didn’t mind one bit, he enjoyed it, it was miraculous to see this joyous side of Cas, so open and free.

Dean took a moment to just breath Cas in, this was so calming, so grounding, them being connected so deeply, holding each other.

Cas urged Dean to move so Dean repositioned himself, planting his arms in both sides of Cas shoulders before pulling back, almost all the way out before pushing back in, his eyes never leaving Cas’.

At first it was slow, lovely, but the closer they got to their climax, the deeper the thrusts become, the tighter their grips at each other was.

Dean cupped Cas’ face into his hands, kissing him deeply before thrusting in a lot roughter, deeper, feeling Cas’ fingernails digging into his flesh, probably leaving angry red marks in their wake.

Just a couple more thrusts like that, a couple more feverish kisses and pulls before Cas was cursing loudly in Enochian and the light bulb in the lamp standing on Dean’s nightstand exploded with bright sparks just as they both came.

Dean rode them through their high before sliding out and dropping next to Cas, half way still on top of him, feeling fully spent.

They stayed silent for a moment longer, simply trying to catch their breaths.

\- Shower? - Cas mumbled against Dean’s lips, sliding one hand up to play with Dean’s sweaty hair.

\- Mmm… - Dean hummed back, peeling his eyes open to look tiredly at the stunning Angel.

Cas smiled so softly that it made another wave of warmth spread through Dean’s heart.

Dean smiled back, pecking Cas on the lips.

He was safe and home, everything was alright, he was alright.

**Author's Note:**

> What do you think?


End file.
